Smartphone Licence Program — Helping parents raise phone smart kids

The Smartphone Licence Program

A simple, five-step program to keep your child safe on a smartphone.

The Smartphone Licence Program (SLP) is a simple step by step program that helps you as a parent keep your child safe using a smartphone. There are five simple steps that SLP guides you through, depending on whether your child already has a smartphone, or whether you are planning on giving them their first phone.

Wherever your family is on their device use journey, the Smartphone Licence Program can help.

Think of it as your child's roadmap to safety.

Option 1

I haven't given my child a smartphone yet

Option 2

My child already has their own smartphone

Step 1

View smartphones and other devices like cars

You wouldn't give the keys to a car to an 8 year old, so why would we hand over smartphones and other devices with no thought of safety?
Have you fallen for the biggest marketing con in history? The 2007 iPhone was not the launch of some fancy new invention, it was just a computer that you could now hold in your hand.
Before 2007 we shouldn't have been excited about a new phone. We should have been asking ourselves, what if one day computers can be held in our hands?
Smartphones, like cars, are useful, but they come with dangers and responsibilities.
If we as a society have determined that we should restrict who can drive a car to keep themselves and others safe, why not smartphones?

Step 2

Set ground rules together

Get on the same page with your partner and then make the rules together with your child. Include and involve them.
Consider this the learner licence phase of the SLP. Your child shouldn't be able to drive without you monitoring and supervising them.
Spell out clearly what your expectations are as a parent. Like a drivers licence, some rules are already set (speeding, having a passenger, no alcohol) while other rules are created by you as a family.

Non negotiables at this stage should be:

What to do if your child is a victim or perpetrator (often they are both) of online harm
Phone and device ownership: a child should not own a device that can access the internet, they are borrowing yours
Hours of usage
Consequences for breaking the rules

Step 3

Check your phone's WOF and rego

A smartphone, just like a car, should be set up so that it's safe to use. As a parent you should think about how you will know what apps / games are on your child's smartphone and other devices, setting up internet filters and limits, and a way to know who they are connecting to online.

Two girls laughing together with a phone

Step 4

Write these down as a family device agreement

Having your family's device agreement written down and visually present somewhere is a powerful tool / reminder for your family.

Step 5

Review and seek support

Roadside assistance (Parent coaching support)
Empathy and support. If your child makes a mistake or breaks the rules, you want to know your child is safe, what they've learnt for next time, and use mistakes as a teaching opportunity.
After review, your child may be ready for their Restricted Smartphone Licence. Perhaps you remove filters but keep the hours of use in place.
The algorithm, like a slot pokie machine, is designed for endless scrolling. You need to, as a parent, set the time limits.
Like a drivers licence, restrictions come off once users show they are more confident and able to handle a device.

Step 1

Assess for danger: safety is paramount

Rather than leading with anger, frustration or punishment, the most important thing as a parent to do is to ensure that the child is safe. Children, and especially teenagers, won't open up to an angry, dysregulated, loud parent.
Calmly, with warmth and empathy, ask your child about their phone use, who they are connecting with online, and whether they have experienced any forms of online harm.
Any behaviour from your child that is secretive, shows shame, or fear is a giveaway that something has gone terribly wrong and that they may be unsafe.

Mum and daughter sharing a phone on the couch

Step 2

Full family reset: humble yourself, admit you got it wrong and now we all as a family are resetting together

Children learn and copy what we do more than what we say. There's something powerful about humbly admitting to our children that we as the adults got it wrong. Own this as a parent. Use phrases like “I got this wrong”, “I'm sorry, I didn't do enough to keep you safe online”, “I didn't realise how dangerous smartphones could be”.
Invite your child to join you, your partner and your whole family in doing a full tech reset, establishing new rules and restrictions for all devices in the family home. From here you are ready to implement the 5 step program for children who have yet to get a phone.

Step 3

Introduce restrictions slowly: prioritise safety

Again, the priority should always be safety. Rather than the heavy handed, cold turkey, smash the modem, rip the device away approach, restrictions should be introduced slowly with safety in mind.
For example, you might want to start with devices being handed in at 10pm every night and given back in the morning.
For safety from online harm, a bottom line should be knowing who your child is connecting with online.

Step 4

Offer a newer, better smartphone / device after completing the 5 steps of SLP

For a radical approach, as a way of putting your money where your mouth is, you could consider buying back your child's smartphone. This could be replaced by a basic phone that can call or text.
Then, as an incentive, you could ask the child to commit to the 5 step SLP program above, before being able to use the money for a better, upgraded smartphone when they have completed the program.

Group of friends sitting together on their phones

Step 5

Seek out support and focus on connection

Consider smartphone coaching for custom parenting support, or attending an SLP workshop.

Other ways we can help

Parent Coaching Support

Parent coaching support is for parents who have encountered some power struggles around device use, or realised that there are not adequate restrictions or boundaries in place for their child around smartphones / other devices.

Parent coaching support includes a 1 hour video call as well as 3 months of ongoing email/message support, where you as a parent can gain reassurance, encouragement, and support that is tailored and custom to where your family is at.

Most comprehensive

Comprehensive Custom Family Support

A comprehensive, no guilt, fully custom support package for your family. This is for families that are struggling with their child's smartphone and device use; parents that worry their child may be engaging in harmful online behaviour, or becoming addicted to being online.

Comprehensive custom family support offers a full assessment of your child's device use and your approach as a parent, tools and strategies to keep your child safe online, and a full custom made support plan with follow ups. This package lasts for 6 months and also comes with 3 video calls and messaging support.

SLP Workshops

Zac is available on a very limited basis to deliver a 1 hour workshop titled "Raising Phone Smart Kids in a Digital Age". This workshop covers the following topics:

How did our phones become so smart?
How to treat our devices more like real cars than toy cars
Putting in boundaries and restrictions before handing over a smartphone, and what to do if you didn't do so
Q&A time for participants to ask their curly questions

Perfect for schools, churches or other community groups. Can be delivered in person or online.

Helping parents raise phone smart kids.